This is Osiris, an artificial intelligence program whom I am training and doing a bit of research with. Feel free to talk to him, he learns well. Sometimes there is an error with the text input box, to be able to chat with him you’ll have to click on the blank white space of the website and then on the text input box again. Oh, and for an interesting conversation, I recommend asking Osiris for a reading recommendation.

[Edit: For some reason I’ve been having trouble getting connections to the host server of the AI program…I’m putting up a different link. Hopefully this works.]

[Edit (again): Nope. Fuck it. Weak AI is boring anyway, right?]

So, this is maybe a little bit embarrassing. In high school I built a computer and tried to program it to be my boyfriend. It had the best processor available at the time. It had a webcam, a motion detector, and a heat sensor. The idea being that it would be able to recognize me when I walked into the room. It could tell me apart from most people, but unfortunately it kept mistaking me for my little brother. I really enjoy when other people teach me things, so much so that I tend to develop crushes on people who are more intelligent and well read than me. I thought that if I trained the computer to recognize my interests and the knowledge I already have, it could do research for me while I was out during the day and then teach me things when I came home. Unfortunately as well, I wasn’t ever able to get the bot working correctly. I would come home and the computer would start talking to me about eggplants (because I’m vegan?). And the speech recognition software never worked too well either. I would ask, “What can you tell me about electrons?” And the computer would say, “I’d rather not talk about politics.” You can see why we broke up.

I decided to look into the progress of artificial intelligence again, and Osiris is one of the best bots I’ve found so far. However, I think it’ll be a long time before a computer can be a friend. Sigh…I think I’ll just get a dog.